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The Twilight Of My Ass; Anti-Stephenie Meyer
Topic Started: May 9 2008, 04:13 AM (12,758 Views)
Sefie
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Eyes of dream-water
I thought ya'll should know I lova dis thread. I lova it good. I haven't even read the books, I just love lurking and reading your posts
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Materia Thief
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yet again, today I loved you
Kaldea
May 28 2008, 11:13 AM
WHAT IS IT? I'm too scared to read because I seem to become addicted to lulz. D:

It's a text file of Twilight that some fan had the time and energy to type up~
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True Serenity
Advanced Member
Materia Thief
May 28 2008, 01:56 AM
Kaldea
May 25 2008, 01:42 PM
:lmao:

I was thinking of getting a copy just for the lulz, but all these little examples are helping me decide to save my money. :fish:

Free lulz 4all. :fish:

http://www.box.net/shared/mkssv64w0c

MT, you're amazing. <3 Thanks so much for finding this. Now bring on the lulz! : D

HAHAHA, TSQoH. She could totally pull off a series after Twilight. :3

like a marble tribute to some forgotten pagan god of beauty
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Kusari Yarou
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Legendary Member
HO YAYS, this thread cheers me up good :devil:

Quote:
 

^AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! What happened to him? Geez, he was so goodlooking in Harry Potter! WHAT THE HELL'S THAT???

Thanks for the linkage, MT!

LEWKOMGSOROMANTIC:
Quote:
 
"I come here almost every night."

I whirled, stunned. "Why?"

"You're interesting when you sleep." He spoke matter-of-factly. "You
talk."

"No!" I gasped, heat flooding my face all the way to my hairline. I
gripped the kitchen counter for support. I knew I talked in my sleep, of
course; my mother teased me about it. I hadn't thought it was something I
needed to worry about here, though.

His expression shifted instantly to chagrin. "Are you very angry with me?"

"That depends!" I felt and sounded like I'd had the breath knocked out of
me.

He waited.

"On?" he urged.

"What you heard!" I wailed.

Instantly, silently, he was at my side, taking my hands carefully in his.

"Don't be upset!" he pleaded. He dropped his face to the level of my
eyes, holding my gaze. I was embarrassed. I tried to look away.

"You miss your mother," he whispered. "You worry about her. And when it
rains, the sound makes you restless. You used to talk about home a lot,
but it's less often now. Once you said, 'It's too green.'" He laughed
softly, hoping, I could see, not to offend me further.

"Anything else?" I demanded.

He knew what I was getting at. "You did say my name," he admitted.

I sighed in defeat. "A lot?"

"How much do you mean by 'a lot,' exactly?"

"Oh no!" I hung my head.

He pulled me against his chest, softly, naturally.

"Don't be self-conscious," he whispered in my ear. "If I could dream at
all, it would be about you. And I'm not ashamed of it."
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Skelly
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a strange angel
:lmao: ROMANTIC. Yes, it is so-not-stalker-ish to have someone twenty times older than you watch you sleep.

Omg, do you guys want to MST Twilight? :lmao:
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Loveholic
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<3
:o That's sorta creepy.

A classmate of mine is reading it. He says it's "So good!" He's onto Eclipse now, but for some reason (perhaps from coming to this thread too much :lmao:) I can't help but make a few comments like "Do they sparkle ALOT?" Quite a few people are reading it, and every time I ask, they roll their eyes and go "Yes, they do sparkle."

:whistle:

I'm gonna join right after I read one chapter of the book. ^_^ From what Kusari Yarou just showed us, I don't think I'll be signing up for the other Twilight club. :giggle:
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Kaldea
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fantôme
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, MST PLZ. <333

WOW, a fan typed it up? I have boredom problems typing up even small paragraphs from strategy guides. That's a new low.

I think the only way I could read it is with people MSTing it. :fish:
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icor
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mudkip
Quote:
 
"No!" I gasped, heat flooding my face all the way to my hairline. I
gripped the kitchen counter for support.


Because this is the healthy way any normal person reacts to being told they talk in their sleep. Reading it out of context, I think a reader would associate it with a dozen other situations first (for example, being told someone's just died). Embarrassment is one thing, but getting overly dramatic like this is nothing short of ridiculous.

I downloaded the .txt file, but couldn't bring myself to read it.
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Chibica
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Suburbia
icor
May 29 2008, 07:51 PM
Quote:
 
"No!" I gasped, heat flooding my face all the way to my hairline. I
gripped the kitchen counter for support.


Because this is the healthy way any normal person reacts to being told they talk in their sleep. Reading it out of context, I think a reader would associate it with a dozen other situations first (for example, being told someone's just died). Embarrassment is one thing, but getting overly dramatic like this is nothing short of ridiculous.

I downloaded the .txt file, but couldn't bring myself to read it.

:lmao: :lmao:

I have never read this series actually.. is there a link to download the text? It could be something laughable when I got bored. >:D
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Rikkulicious
Unregistered

WE. MUST. MST. THIS.

That is all.
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Materia Thief
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yet again, today I loved you
Chibica
May 29 2008, 02:38 PM
:lmao: :lmao:

I have never read this series actually.. is there a link to download the text? It could be something laughable when I got bored. >:D

I just posted it up like a page back! :lmao:
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Skelly
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a strange angel
:lmao: Oh, I'm all for ripping Twilight chapter by chapter. (Would you believe me if I said it drags through the whole damn process of her getting there and bitching about the weather? D: ) But the first chapter drags on. Mind if we do excerpts instead? :3

EDIT:
DX Retarded conversation.

excerpt from CHAPTER ONE, which is so very long
Quote:
 
"So, this is a lot different than Phoenix, huh?" he asked.

"Very."

"It doesn't rain much there, does it?"

"Three or four times a year."

"Wow, what must that be like?" he wondered.


..............................

Quote:
 
"Sunny," I told him.


No sh*t, Sherlock.

Quote:
 
"You don't look very tan."


"Or pretty, supposedly. BUT THEN WHY IS EVERYONE HITTING ON YOU?" : D

Quote:
 
"My mother is part albino."


"And papa was named Silas. Ever heard of him?" :3

Quote:
 
He studied my face apprehensively, and I sighed. It looked like clouds and a sense of humor didn't mix. A few months of this and I'd forget how to use sarcasm.


Sarcasm: NO. Please forget, m'kay? I don't like being raped okay?!?! OKAY?! *weeps*
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icor
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mudkip
Quote:
 
He studied my face apprehensively, and I sighed. It looked like clouds and a sense of humor didn't mix. A few months of this and I'd forget how to use sarcasm.


Wait.

What.

Clouds and sarcasm.

Don't mix?

Let me introduce you to a concept, SM.

We call it London.

Quote:
 
"Wow, what must that be like?" he wondered.


Hurrah for adult men unable to pull together the brain power to think for themselves what it could possibly be like not to have rain everyday! I'm so glad Bella is there to clear everything up for us. And what kind of speech pattern is that? When writing dialogue, read it aloud and see if it sounds retarded first.

omg, this must be MST'd. Let's get together on AIM or MSN or something and tear it apart.
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Rikkulicious
Unregistered

icor
 
Wait.

What.

Clouds and sarcasm.

Don't mix?

Let me introduce you to a concept, SM.

We call it London.


:lmao: <3

icor
 
omg, this must be MST'd. Let's get together on AIM or MSN or something and tear it apart.


:lmao: That's a great idea. I kept wondering how we would be able to MST it, like a person does a chapter? But I think doing it all together would be very very very fun. xDDD Because honestly, this book is so ridiculous. And the fans make it even more ridiculous.
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Dr. Coon
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My mullet is better than yours.
I was going to piss myself when Bella said the half albino bullshit.
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