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| Should Minors Be Monitored Online? | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Aug 5 2007, 04:59 PM (554 Views) | |
| Amaranth | Aug 5 2007, 04:59 PM Post #1 |
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The Lukewarm
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There was a clip on the news a few days ago of a teenage girl's computer which had had a device planted on it. This device let her parents know everything she was doing online. This included every message she posted on Myspace, her friends on Myspace and her Myspace password. Some would agree that perhaps this is the right thing for parents to do, so that the child's parents know everything that their child is doing. Others would argue that this is an invasion of privacy. What do you think? |
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| Rikkulicious | Aug 5 2007, 05:41 PM Post #2 |
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Unregistered
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That's creepy. I would have never wanted that to happen to me, I feel as if that's a total invasion of privacy. Then again, there are plenty of minors who don't know any better and could be easily influenced by a predator or whatever online so... I suppose it depends on the person. I sort of feel like it's a good thing for those who would get themselves in trouble so their parents could prevent that, but at the same time I would never have wanted that and I would have been REALLY annoyed by it. So, I want to say it depends on the minor who is being watched, but then again, how are parents supposed to know who's going to know better while on the computer, and who isn't and... gah. Confused. Great topic though.
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| Lynn | Aug 5 2007, 06:18 PM Post #3 |
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Lynn has no Lloud smut ;-;
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I don't think I would like that personally, but then I guess I would wanna know if some pervert was messing with my seven year-old too. Maybe this sort of surveillance should be kept up until a certain age? When children hit their tweens, I feel that they should be allowed a certain amount of privacy. Knowing your child's MySpace messages just feels too extreme. Especially if the child knows about it, he/she will try even harder to hide things from their parents. However long parents monitor their child in this manner, they still can't do it 24/7, and they'll be given the slip eventually. |
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| Hyper-Ballad | Aug 5 2007, 10:30 PM Post #4 |
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Heroine addict since 1997
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Well, I don't think that any child under the age of 10 has any business going on the internet in the first place. I understand how you really can't stop teens from going online and getting to know new people, but younger kids don't need to socialise in the same way, and parents should try to entertain them in different ways. Pre-teens should be outdoors, not online, and they should be much easier than teens for parents to monitor. But when they get older, parents do need to let go a bit, show some trust and give their children responsibility. I can't see what good that degree of close parenting can do. Smothering teenagers with restrictions is bound to them more harm than good. I know that teenagers are minors and not as mature as they like to think they are (I probably wasn't), but I still think it's a horrible invasion of privacy and I'd be disgusted if my parents had done that to me. And when you're a teen, you really need privacy and to be able to confide in your friends. In my opinion, to be a good, protective and responsible parents, you need to learn how to talk with your children and have mature converstions with them and be sure that they fully understand the risks involved in online-friendships. But you also have to respect that they are crossing over into adulthood and need to be trusted to make their own decisions, and this includes choosing their own friends. And isn't adolescence supposed to be a stage of life when you mature and learn to break away from the family circle and depend less on your parents? Knowing everything your child does or says online and being able to run a background-check on all their friends and monitoring them constantly does not make a person a good parent. Isn't it much better to try and raise your child to have a strong character and sense of self so that they can learn to say "no" or identify when an online 'friend' is being creepy, an asshole, or too intimate? I know that people feel insecure about their parenting skills and if they've managed to raise children with enough common sense to not make tragic mistakes, but the solution isn't to not give them the benefit of the doubt any more. More and more people these days seem so unprepared for adulthood and suddenly having to take care of themselves, and I can't say I'm surprised with young people being so wrapped in cotton wool like this. Even if it is out of love, it's still controlling, stifling, and very unnatural. |
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| Rikkulicious | Aug 5 2007, 11:46 PM Post #5 |
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Unregistered
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Oh, my Lila-Ballad! I was JUST having that conversation with someone yesterday! Something about this penguin-making site that was very popular, got bought by Disney for a ton of money. And I wondered, if it was so popular, how come I hadn't heard of it? Well, the explanation was that it was popular with little kids. The thought of the a little kid on the internet very often just irks me, I think they should be restricted from the internets!!
You make AWESOME points. I luv yo essayz. The only thing that worries me are the less mature ones who would actually get involved with a predator (god, I hate this term, I just can't stop envisioning lions when I hear it), so it's kind of like, would it be better incase you could prevent something terrible from happening to that teen? Then again, hopefully the parents would teach the kid better.
GREAT POINTS!!! I definitely see what you mean. Yeah, what Hyper said times a million. |
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| Hyper-Ballad | Aug 6 2007, 12:50 AM Post #6 |
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Heroine addict since 1997
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I kinda feel like an old fart when I get too deep into discussions about why pre-teens don't need the internet. Basically, there was no computer in our house until I was 11 (and I had to share it) and no internet access 'till I was 13/14 (and again, I had to share), so I'm quite biased. But I understand that things are different now and that kids can have unrestricted access from an early age, but that doesn't mean parents can't enforce some limitations. And if you give your kids total access to the computer before they're 10, how can you expect to give them boundries when they're teens? My family managed to fool my little brother for years by telling him that the computer was just for us "grown-ups" to do homework on. He could only use it on weekends, and he'd only play Solitaire and Minesweeper and use MS-Paint a lot. He's 10 now and has just discovered the internet, but mostly likes it for the games he can find, so we just distract him from that with Playstation games. Sure, they're not really "better" for him, but at least we know what he's playing and he can't run into any non-fictional sinister people in our living room. :lol: But I definitely agree that they should be restricted from the internet. They really don't need it for anything and it's not the same for them as for teens - you do need to be able to chat on MSN and all that to fit in as teen, but not when you're a kid! The internet can be addictive, so parents should let their kids have exercise and soak up the sunshine for as long as they can rather than encouraging them to lock themselves in their room. I know it's not easy for some parents if they don't feel they have the time to watch over their children outdoors so a bugged internet is much safer...but if you can't take the time to really parent your children and SPEND TIME with them, then wtf is the point of being a parent?
I worry and feel bad about it too, but I don't think that invasions of privacy is the answer. You do hear about a lot of tragedies these days with teens getting too influenced by predators pretending to be friends, and I don't think it's any fault of the family's if this sort of thing happens. These kinds of things aren't predictable. But I do think there are warning-signs you can look out for, so again, I think it's all about communication. But better than monitoring your child (damaging their respect for you and trust in you, and making it way more likely that they'll fly off the handle when they're out of your sight), why not restrict their access? When you're a young teen, you're in school from 9.00am to 4.00pm, you have homework to do in several different subjects, so do you really need more than 2 hours of internet access on those nights? Working out a system with them must be more rewarding than the Big Brother approach. Surely people don't want to wind up with a naive 18 year old away at uni discovering the REAL internet alone and without any time or access restrictions?
At least you're not seeing dreadlocked alien hunters.
Thank you! But didn't you know that you can exchange kudos from really long internet-arguments for sexual favours from Sephiroth on the Astral Plane? *skips off to collect her reward*
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| Anti-R | Aug 6 2007, 03:32 AM Post #7 |
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the girl who becomes a prince
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Well, we all share one computer, so that's not really a big issue. But supposedly reading their stuff in the internet and invading their personal space? That's a huge no for me... I wouldn't like it if it's done to me. My two other kids didn't bother with the internet much, the PS2 and the PSP are keeping their attention. However, the oldest is now 13, and visits message boards to interact so I make it a point to sit down with him and tell him NEVER give his personal infos to complete strangers, giving him stories about those unfortunate others who were victims to pedos (read them from Time). And remove the "camera". They still don't need it. |
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| Zee | Aug 6 2007, 10:53 AM Post #8 |
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rabbit heart
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Seriously. Parents today want the internets and TV to raise their kids rather than do any real parenting, then get UP IN ARMZ when the child's soul is eaten alive by /b/. If you're a good parent and teach your kid some common sense, then you have less to worry about. Eventually all kids have to get off the training wheels, and you need to be able to trust them when that happens. Every child also needs some personal space to grow as a person. Smothering them is only going to make them want to rebel more. |
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| Lynn | Aug 6 2007, 12:27 PM Post #9 |
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Lynn has no Lloud smut ;-;
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Good point. I think it's so normal where I live that I've come to expect it from any family, even the ones with parent(s) who are home to spend time with kids. The kids-only TV channels always have online content (vote which Kim Possible/That's So Raven episode you want premiered!!!1 Log on to blahblah.com and win all this neat merchandise!), and you know how kids are-- when their friends know about it, have it, play with it... Schools are also being encouraged to adopt a more computer-based approach. My 9 year-old cousin in Singapore has a Friendster account, a blog and an MSN account. It just seems inevitable, at least where I live, that children are going to be exposed to the computer and the internet very early in their lives. It's the same with handphones-- I remember how incredulous people were acting over Alec Baldwin's daughter having a handphone at 11 years old. But in many Asian countries, you're practically prehistoric if you don't have a handphone by then!
Word. Short of locking up the CPU and eating the key (and even then, don't forget about those nasty cybercafes whose owners don't bother stopping your kid at the door even though he/she's underaged and wearing their school uniform), you really can't monitor your child all the time. Even installing those programmes that block certain sites may work on kids, but teens are computer-savvy-- they'll work around your blocks in no time.
Hah. This may be MY bias coming in now, but yeah-- I rarely use webcams myself, I don't see why anyone needs it unless it's to communicate with family over long distances... ...... And even then, I still prefer email. |
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| goddess_in_pink07 | Aug 6 2007, 03:25 PM Post #10 |
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Ambrosia
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I really don't see why a child would go online in the first place. Children at the age of ten going online and talking to people isn't necessary. They should be still playing outside, doing kid things. Childhood is a precious stage of life that parents should try and preserve as long as possible. I know its inevitable for a child to grow up, but why try and speed it up? I didn't know how a computer worked when I was ten. xD I didn't actually start using a computer until I was fourteen. I just got curious and lurked my way around. My parents still aren't thrilled about the thought of me using a computer. They never have liked the internet, so they are rather.. cautious about me being online. But what can they expect for a teenager. It should be given the option. Parents should have the choice. After all, parents do have a right to know what's going on in their young teen's life. |
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| AugoraTheMateria | Aug 14 2007, 05:42 PM Post #11 |
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I'm gonna need a nap
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I agree with everyone. I don't like the idea of little children talking to total complete strangers on the computer. My 9-year-old brother rarely goes on the computer. He'd rather play with his friends outside and play his PS2. And when he does get on the computer, it's usually CartoonNetwork.com to play games. And my parents know that I'm smarter than the average 17-year-old when it comes to talking to complete strangers on the computer. I'm not one to give my personal info to people even if they are telling the truth. I personally hate the idea of MySpace and sites like those. God only knows what goes on on those sites. |
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| Sora G. Strife | Jan 7 2008, 09:12 AM Post #12 |
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Translation: Sora G. Sutoraifu
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I say fake it. Do it for a few days, tell your kid that you installed a device that tracks whatever you send and receive, and then when he goes to a website that is not good for you, tell him that you saw that. S/He'll be threatened, so you can now remove it. Now, my classmate's found a folder that contains files that come from sites that you go to. It's for the computer to not need to download the same stuff again. (only for XP) So if you want me to tell you, e-mail me. |
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| Angelalex242 | Jan 7 2008, 11:22 AM Post #13 |
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Keeper of the Intimacy of Aerith's soul living in Cloud
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My uncle has a different philosophy then some. When I arrived at his house 2 years ago, he had an 8 year old son. This 8 year old son (now 10) played World of Warcraft...with his dad. In his dad's guild. With his dad's character right there with him. To boot, his 20 year old son (now 22) was ALSO playing World of Warcraft with the younger son and the father. But the beauty of it is, with the older brother and the father there playing the game with the younger son, he couldn't get into any trouble, and still got to enjoy the game. That's the smart way to do it. At least with fathers and sons, anyway. In that house, World of Warcraft is 'family time.' At least for all the males. The mom and the 2 daughters won't go near WoW. Obviously, then, the younger son knows all about the internet and how it works. But like most boys, he's a gamer, and there to game. On the other hand, one of his daughters had problems, and I had to hack into her myspace account myself with my mad programming zkills. Why? She ran away from home. At which point, I really had no choice in the matter. I HAD to find out where she was by any means possible. So...there's a time to extend trust, as my uncle does with his son, and a time not to, as with his daughter. |
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| Damaged | Mar 11 2008, 10:09 PM Post #14 |
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Remember your pride
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Monitering your childs internet time (like what sites they go to) is fine by me, but spying on them in my view is an invasion of privacy. I agree with Hyper-Ballad in saying that a child under the age of 10 shouldn't even be on the net. They really should be out doing kid things. Playing with friends outside, I can understand watching over your child, but installing that thing is just invasion of privacy. I didn't even know what I computer was (to be honest, used them, but I didn't know what it was capable of at all) until I was in the 8th grade, so I really can't enlighten people on that matter. |
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I luv yo essayz. The only thing that worries me are the less mature ones who would actually get involved with a predator (god, I hate this term, I just can't stop envisioning lions when I hear it), so it's kind of like, would it be better incase you could prevent something terrible from happening to that teen? Then again, hopefully the parents would teach the kid better.
*skips off to collect her reward*




2:04 PM Jul 11