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| Time To Grow Up... | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Nov 18 2006, 02:16 AM (566 Views) | |
| Real_Emotion | Nov 18 2006, 02:16 AM Post #1 |
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Advanced Member
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Being that I'm now a junior in high school, teachers more than ever are stressing to me(and my peers) to start thinking about our future. What collage we plan to attend? What majors we want to take? What are we going to do after college? I've been going to a few college fairs lately. The first one I went to actually depressed me, because it made me worry about the certainty of college life. Even though, I'm very certain in what direction I want to take. It's how am I going to get to that direction, that intimidates me. How am I going to prepare to move on from high school? How can I handle being away from family and the friends that I've grown to love in high school? Will I be ready to finally 'grow up'? This question(s) is more for the older members of the forum, the ones who are currently, or have passed this part of their life. How did you cope with this drastic change in your life? Did you follow the direction in your life that you wanted to take? If not, what lead to the change? If so, how were you so sure that this is the direction you wanted to follow? When does a person finally realize their truely an adult and it's time to just simply move on. It's probably silly that I'm worrying about such things, when I'm still young and still have time left to get ready for that part of my life. But, I've notice my high school years are fading quite fast, before I know it, I'll be graduating in Summer 2008. I think it's important that I really start thinking about how I'm going to reach my goals now, before it's too late. |
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| Zee | Nov 18 2006, 02:41 AM Post #2 |
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rabbit heart
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It's totally normal to be freaked at the pressure. College is like a whole new world, and you have to start being more responsible. No one is going to chase after you in college. But it's not all so scary. You can always keep in touch with High School friends and depending on where you go to college you can head home for the weekend. You can mold your schedule to fit your own needs - I know many people who take Fridays off because they need the time to work on papers and such. Trust me, it can certainly be intimidating. In this new stage of your life you have more freedom, but also more responsiblities. There's no need to totally freak, though. College is fun! Plus, just remember, the Freshman in your classes are going through the same thing, I've seen it. I can't really give you any advice because you really just have to grow into it. That's what the first year is all about, adjusting to the expectations your professors have, to the enviornment, the whole college experience. You'll be fine. Don't feel like you have to figure out your entire life plan before high school ends - I know sophmores and juniors who don't know what they're going to do still. |
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| Tacofoolio | Nov 18 2006, 03:00 AM Post #3 |
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We are number one. All others are number two, or lower.
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Poor thing, I remember that point. I actually ended up in a completely different direction than I ever thought. Right after I graduated, I ended up getting married. Ho boy, I had thought I was either going to be an actress or doctor, and would have been great at either I think. But things changed for me. I'll be completely honest, had the circumstances in my life been different, I doubt I'd have chosen to get married so soon. But I was in love, and I was willing to make the drastic changes I had to for love. I moved to another state away from my family, and got married that same year. The best advice I can give? You're going to make mistakes, and things might not be how you planned. But always make sure that you're happy and don't worry about what others think of your choices. I realize by no means have I fixed all my problems and am a perfect person, but I'm proud of who I am. Probably the most important lesson I've learned as I've grown up is not to be selfish. In marriage you have to make sacrifices for the other person, and you have to learn to think about what's good for both of you. I try to carry that out to my family and friends as well. I've also learned that I can't dwell on the past and live in a pity party over things, it hurts me and everyone around me. My guess is your life wont go in the direction mine did, but I still think that some things can be learned from my unusual little life, lol. Don't sweat having so many choices, just because you take a turn you didn't think you would doesn't mean you wont have good results. Trust yourself, and know that you'll have the power to change things you don't like. I know that your afraid of losing your friends, and in my case, particularly since I moved so far away, I haven't talked to many in a long time, but if your friendship is true, you'll make it work. Good luck with everything, and know that I and pretty much everyone here is going to be there for you. Heck, most my close friends these days are from here, and it's great to talk to them!
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| Desi | Nov 18 2006, 03:02 AM Post #4 |
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Love After Death
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Since I'm a Freshman in College, I totally concur with the feeling of insecurity. I'm experiencing that myself now since I have 3 five-page essays due next week ( ) but it comes with the territory. Just expect to work a lot, since the semester go by much faster than in High School.
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| Sadhana | Nov 18 2006, 03:19 AM Post #5 |
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capitalism is dead
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I haven't passed that time in my life, but I definitely understand what you're going through. I'm a senior in high school as of now, and it's intense. I have to ask teachers for recommendations, visit colleges, fill out applications. Being that my first choice is NYU, I made the decision to take on a grand total of five AP classes (oh, the joy :rolleyes: ). My personal life has been such a mess this year with everything I have to juggle at once in order to have a smooth shift into the looming college years that are only a number of months away. I can't give you the advice someone in or already graduated from college can, but I can tell you that it's going to be okay. I know, how can I say that when I'm still in high school? I'm not the wisest person on the planet either, but there's nothing to fear in change. Sure, you can make mistakes, but mistakes can be made at any time throughout life. Change is a whole bundle of new opportunities and chances to take. And just a side note, don't let teachers or guidance counselors make you think that anything about college is set in stone. There is no permanence or absolutism. People change their majors, people transfer schools, and people end up in fields after college that they never expected. My dad went to college for marine biology. He ended up being the founder of a private school. My mom went to college for chemistry. She ended up being an Acupunctrist and a Spanish/Art teacher.
Remember, growing up is a process. There is no defining moment in life that makes you grown up or makes you mature or makes you independent. And if you don't think you're ready to take the college leap, you can always take a year off. My oldest brother went to college for one year after high school, and then decided to take a year off because he had no idea what he wanted to do with his life. He ended up spending that year in Europe, doing social service. He came back experienced and mature, finally ready to go to college. I hope you don't let the future get you down, R_E, because it has so much promise for greatness. Let's leave high school with smiles on our faces, ready to take up a new challenge.
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| Lynn | Nov 18 2006, 04:22 AM Post #6 |
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Lynn has no Lloud smut ;-;
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I fell ya, RE. I've frequently gotten really depressed at not having a life plan set out... unlike, you know, just about everyone else around me. :rolleyes: I'm in my first semester of university right now, and I can honestly say I STILL don't know what I want to do in the future. Hell, I've not even planned what to do next semester!
That's great. It might not seem much to you compared to all the other "big" decisions you have to make, but that's already one big accomplishment in itself. The rest are details. ![]()
I chose to go to university because I REALLY wanted to experience undergraduate (and maybe even postgraduate) life. It's certainly very different from high school but I didn't think too much about the changes I'd have to make. In fact, after 11 years of the same type of regimented schooling (almost 13 if you count kindergarten), I was looking forward to change. And call me a hopeless romantic, but I looked forward to living out the "stereotyped" life of a uni student: camping in the library, waiting tables on weekends, living off caffeine etc. xD Yeah, THAT was my reason for going to uni. I know it's not exactly the, ah... best reason, or most intellectually-sound. But out of every other uncertainty I experienced, this is the one thing I knew I wanted out of life. And I'm not gonna beat myself up for not having the same, academically-inclined reasons for attending university as my peers do.
From my own, albeit limited, experience, the idea of change is usually a lot scarier than the actual event. I freaked out that I didn't know what I wanted to major in even as I was filling out the university application form, but when I finally reached campus--Guess what? We can change majors almost anytime! I felt like all those months of angsting on LiveJournal were for nothing. :lol: There is always email and Skype to help you out when it comes to homesickness. We're no longer in the age when a letter took months to reach your family, and took more months for a reply to reach you (well, unless you email me...). There is always some degree of homesickness, but on the bright side, you can look forward to sharing your new experiences (and frustrations!) in a long email to home, or trade tips with your friends who are studying elsewhere. We all have to leave our comfort zones one day--if it's not for uni, it'll be for work. Adapt to it openly, just as you adapt to university life, and it will be fine. And I'm a believer of "distance makes the heart grow fonder." So, IMHO, distance from family and friends is a GOOD thing. It's probably what keeps me from killing some of my school friends. I fought more with my brother when we were both at home all the time. ![]() Finally, that last question made me think of the the Sims, when the Teen Sim goes through that little twirl and suddenly "grows up" into an Adult Sim. In real life, though, we all know it doesn't work that way. I'm in my first semester of university, and I don't feel "grown up" at all. What constitutes as being "grown up", anyway? Make up? Heels? Work? Bills? I've got one out of four of those requirements, does that make me 1/4 adult? I'm not sure if "adults" are really grown up either. Boys will be boys, it's just their toys that grow more expensive. ;) This is one issue I can tell you, quite confidently, not to sweat over. It'll happen when it happens.
It certainly is important, and I wanna clarify that I'm not suggesting to lounge around and let life sort itself out for you. But as you try to plan your future, don't let it stress you out, especially if things don't go the way you wanted to. Didn't get the subject you wanted for the first sem? No worries, try something else out in the meantime. You might be surprised. University is a great time. It's got its downsides, but I find complaining about those downsides to also be quite fun. Don't dread it. |
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| Schala | Nov 18 2006, 03:18 PM Post #7 |
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dreamer...
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Sounds exactly like my problem. We're the same age, and lately my parents have been telling me that I'm too old for anime and video games. I definitely can't say that I've found a solution, though I'm just mostly content to go with what my peers say they want to be (you know, the doctors and the lawyers). As for choosing a college, have you seen the collegeboard website? My friends like to browse through the schools listed there in their free time. Anyway, I guess I just want to tell you that you're not alone. Since so many of us have this issue, I think that we'll turn out all right somehow. The best we can do right now is do well in school and get a good score on the SAT, and wait until we've found our calling. |
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| Sefie | Nov 18 2006, 10:44 PM Post #8 |
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Eyes of dream-water
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Aw, I totally understand. I was TERRIFIED my first day at college! Then I discovered that really, it's like highschool...except less drama. No worries, it'll be okay. Just hit this new situation head on and it'll be great! You'll be amazed at how quickly you adapt. |
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| Nevi | Nov 19 2006, 06:32 AM Post #9 |
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let us be lovers.
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I guess as a home schooler and someone who travels a lot, I can't really identify with you RE. I've made so many great friends traveling but most of them I loose contact with because they either don't have email adresses or they forget to keep in touch. And as a home schooler I wont miss school friends because it's only me in my sisters. So I suppose that I'll miss my family the most. With us being so close knit it will be really hard. I hope you do well! I'll be praying for you.
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| Nightmare | Nov 19 2006, 12:13 PM Post #10 |
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Mrs. George Harrison D:
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Ha, I think it's really normal to get nervous at the first day of college. I felt so out of place when I entered at my former university at Korea. Sure it is hard to fit in at once, but I pretty much got passed by it as being a newbie at that university. You guys have no idea how much more I was terrified when I moved here in the Philippines!!! I haven't even mastered Korean and they expect me to learn the Filipino language!!! XD Now, I moved over at DLSU, a very exquisite university, and I found it hard to fit in there, since whenever I look around, students are holding their books while walking!!! They thought at first it was weird, that neither Korean nor Filipino I know, I only speak English, so much for being Asian, but once I struggled at the university, I found myself in my right shoes. I know at first, we all think, 'OMG I am a newbie in teh college!!!', yeah, that was me in my first day of being a college student. And at the first semester of being 1st year student, I was so pressured at work and studies, all I can think about was my ambition. Though, I enjoyed myself too, I consider my college years as a challenge. I hope this experience will help those who feel so awkward once you enter the university.
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| yin-chan | Nov 20 2006, 02:03 AM Post #11 |
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*dreamchaser*
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Don't worry, RE - everyone goes through this stage in their life sometime or other. Some people sail through it, gain amazing experiences and move on to have the time of their lives. Some struggle to wade through the mud, gasp for breath - but they still pull through in the end. I think it's great that you know the direction you certainly want to go. That's half the journey down pat for you already! :) I was 16 when I left high school, I was sent alone to a foreign country - it was tough. I had to readjust to everything, the way of life, the weather etc etc. It was extremely hard for me, because like you, I was very attached to all my friends from high school, and my family. Moving away from all of them was incredibly difficult. I was homesick and lonely all the time. Of course, I made a lot of new friends, but lost a lot of friends too. I couldn't 'click' with these new friends and that made me miss my youth even more. All along I kept wishing I was back in high school and I never had to 'grow up', because it seemed like such a hard thing to do. I hated my situation, hated the country, and became more and more isolated. I ended up locking myself in my room all the time, just studying. Then, I spiralled into depression and had to take some counselling. I started to binge, which took a toll on my body and I had to go to the hospital. My self-confidence completely plummeted. I couldn't bring myself to tell anyone what I was going through, not my friends or family because I felt so pathetic. Then I met some new friends and things started getting better. I was also doing well in my studies, gained entry to good universities and felt better about myself. I felt myself mature a lot more and even my parents commented on how 'grown up' I had become. When I returned to my home country, all my high school friends had 'moved on', and none of them kept in contact any more, except a select few of my best buddies. It was sad, but I had to accept it as part of life. Everyone moves on at some stage. Now I'm in Uni doing something I enjoy, I have a new group of great friends, I'm healthy and happy and involved in a lot of work I love, like working with horses and volunteering with charity organizations. I'm happy now, and realize that change can be a good thing. You just have to seek out what makes you happy and work towards it. I guess the point is, even if the transition isn't smooth and golden, things always turn out for the better. I knew all along that I wanted to study art or design, and I think that thought of wanting to do it kept me going. So my advice would be just to keep firmly believing in yourself and take whatever life throws at you with a pinch of salt. Just enjoy growing up, and try not to dwell too much on the past. You'll have the time of your life! Uni life is made of Awesome. =] |
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) but it comes with the territory. Just expect to work a lot, since the semester go by much faster than in High School.



2:08 PM Jul 11