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A Tiny Flower; new fic by yours truly
Topic Started: Aug 4 2006, 06:42 AM (465 Views)
Sadhana
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capitalism is dead
As promised, I hereby present my very short, very simple CloAer oneshot. It takes place five years Advent Children. I was going to make it longer, but I didn't think it was really necessary. There wasn't very much editing done... yeah, that means this is a first draft. >_< So I apologize in advance for the suckiness and if you hate it. I swear, I really need to get better at this thing called "editing."

A Tiny Flower

Feel free to leave a review if you're on fanfic.net. I love constructive criticism, so knock yourself out. If you like it, you can read my other Clerith fanfic which is much longer (and better IMO ;) ).

Enjoy. :gift:

P.S. Yes, in case you notice, this is where I came up with the quote in my sig (yin-chan r0xrs teh graphic world).
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xClarexStrife
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There's No Rock, Like J-Rock n__n~~
That was beautiful! :cray: I hope to read more. :D
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Trisse
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I Agree twas a beautiful story!!! i love the ending especially!!!!

Quote:
 
He held the tiny flower in his hand up to his lips, and kissed it softly before letting it flutter to the ground.


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darkmoonlitdreamer
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Cleris fans make me happy!
THAT WAS YOUR MOST AMAZING WORK EVER! YOU ARE...ONE OF THE BEST WRITERS EVER! i have never felt so moved. you are a true writer, one of the best, and i hope to see more of your work in the future.
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Nevaleigh
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Not Brave Enough To Be A Elephant
That was beaufitul more than I can express into words :sad:
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Sadhana
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capitalism is dead
Thanks for the feedback, everyone. Don't be afraid to offer any criticisms. I'm really trying to grow as a writer, and any advice or constructive feedback helps (especially a oneshot like this where I wrote it, planned on editing it, but never did). Now to respond...

Quote:
 
That was beautiful! :cray: I hope to read more. :D


I'm glad you liked it! It took me a few months to decide to do another fanfiction, so I don't know how willing I am to delay my novel any further than it already is. But this stuff is fun, so maybe I'll come out with something here or there as inspiration comes. I can't guarantee I have that much left in me in regards to fanfics. If I do, I'll post it here as always. So if there's more to read, it'll be here.

Quote:
 
I Agree twas a beautiful story!!! i love the ending especially!!!!

Quote:
 
He held the tiny flower in his hand up to his lips, and kissed it softly before letting it flutter to the ground.



Thanks for reading! I kind of just came up with that last line right as I was about to post it on fanfic.net, and decided to add it on as a last minute thing. Just a sweet, simple closure to the oneshot, but I liked how it came out too.

Quote:
 
THAT WAS YOUR MOST AMAZING WORK EVER! YOU ARE...ONE OF THE BEST WRITERS EVER! i have never felt so moved. you are a true writer, one of the best, and i hope to see more of your work in the future.


Wow, thanks, darkmoonlitdreamer! You're a great writer yourself. :cheer: I still like my other Clerith fanfic, In the Absence Of My Flower Girl, better. That one took actual work to write since it was 18,000 words versus the 1,200 in this one. Plus, I had to incorporate symbollism, characterization, motifs, themes, etc. since it was like a short story with chapters, not just a oneshot. But we're both entitled to our opinions, and if you think this is my best work yet, I'm very flattered. ^_^

Quote:
 
That was beaufitul more than I can express into words :sad:


Aww, thanks! I'm very pleased to know you enjoyed it. It was really a homage to Aerith's character more than anything. I wanted her to leave behind a trace of herself that was both beautiful and miraculous because she's one of my favorite characters from FF ever. That's where the whole idea came from, and then Cloud just kind of came in on his own. :lmao: So, if it was beautiful, I'm very happy.

Thanks again for the posts, guys! :blush:
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Nightmare
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Mrs. George Harrison D:
Nice job here Sadhana! :huggle: though I would like to rate:

format:
Needs more spaces. Some sentences in paragraphs are quite clashed up. Readers might find it hard to read...like me... XD so...7.
Plot: I give it a 9.
sense: 10.
words: 10.

Overall: A very kawaii and clean CxA one-shot ^_^
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Sadhana
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capitalism is dead
Cynel
Aug 4 2006, 09:57 PM
Nice job here Sadhana! :huggle: though I would like to rate:

format:
Needs more spaces. Some sentences in paragraphs are quite clashed up. Readers might find it hard to read...like me... XD so...7.
Plot: I give it a 9.
sense: 10.
words: 10.

Overall: A very kawaii and clean CxA one-shot ^_^

Thanks for rating, Cynel. I really appreciate the feedback on the specific aspects of it because it let's me know just what people think I should improve upon. As for the formatting thing, you're totally right. I realize these things when I read it over two or so times. And that's usually where the magic of editing comes into good use. But silly me decided to be a lazy writer, and didn't edit this... at all. :lol: Why must I be so lethargic about writing? God only knows. That's probably why I've been writing the same novel for the past three years (although that's not entirely my fault since I had to start it over from scratch when I was about halfway done with it).
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Trisse
Unregistered

hehehe i found the story very coherent, and well structured!! I't was easy to READ for me<<<(i'm very weird because ppl tend to NOt get things that i DO get!!). Besides I loved it, (and dont you love it when a last minute idea comes in and staple the whole piece/story together! lol!)

lol i hope you understand my post!! I am very hungry right now and cant think str8! *Runs to the kitchen to grab a cookie*

Cheers!
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momoju
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Member
Your story was really sweet and breathtaking :wub:
I really liked it. ^_^
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goddess_in_pink07
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Ambrosia
Oh, its lovely..... :sad: *wipes tear* Honestly, its sooo beautiful. I love how you fit sooo much emotion into one little story. Its brilliant my dear. :huggle: And, nothing gives more emotion for Aeris than the forgotten city and that pink ribbon. Simply divine.

You should make a sequal to that small story. <_< Its just your stories are always soo good hun.... :no:
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aerisbolt
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Beautiful Paradox
Oh wow that really was a beautiful little story Sadhana. You described what Cloud was feeling extremely well. You also used some excellent vocabulary. I look forward to reading more of your work. :fangirl:

As a new writer myself I am taking notes :blush:
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Sadhana
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capitalism is dead
^*Afrononomous*^
Aug 8 2006, 04:09 AM
hehehe i found the story very coherent, and well structured!! I't was easy to READ for me<<<(i'm very weird because ppl tend to NOt get things that i DO get!!).  Besides I loved it, (and dont you love it when a last minute idea comes in and staple the whole piece/story together! lol!)

lol i hope you understand my post!! I am very hungry right now and cant think str8! *Runs to the kitchen to grab a cookie*

Cheers!


Thanks for saying so, Afrononomous. :lol: I'm glad you could understand it just fine, but Cynel made a valid point. Some of the sentences wind a little and are confusing, something I normally correct with an edit reading. But yeah, it wasn't too bad. XD

Quote:
 
Your story was really sweet and breathtaking :wub:
I really liked it. ^_^


Thanks, Marlena! I appreciate the feedback. :gift:

Quote:
 
Oh, its lovely..... *wipes tear* Honestly, its sooo beautiful. I love how you fit sooo much emotion into one little story. Its brilliant my dear. And, nothing gives more emotion for Aeris than the forgotten city and that pink ribbon. Simply divine.

You should make a sequal to that small story.  Its just your stories are always soo good hun....


You're too sweet, my dear. :blush: I've never tried making a sequel to anything because it has to be done just right so it doesn't suffer the curse of second installments. But either way, I wouldn't be able to write a sequel without an idea for the story, and so far, my mental note pad doesn't have anything down for fanfic ideas. I'll consider it in the future though. *hugs dear goddess*

Quote:
 
Oh wow that really was a beautiful little story Sadhana. You described what Cloud was feeling extremely well. You also used some excellent vocabulary. I look forward to reading more of your work.

As a new writer myself I am taking notes


We were all new to writing once. I still consider myself somewhat of a writing n00b ( :lol: ), and I think every writer still has room to learn and "take notes." You did a great job with your first fanfic, so no worries. :peace:

I try really hard to have an expansive vocabulary (*is a loser*) so thanks for saying so. As of now, I don't see any other fanfics on the horizon, but I've written one before which was a full-lengthed fanfic. Otherwise, I MUST, MUST, MUST finish my damn novel already. So fanfic is going to have to take a break for a while.

Thank you again for the feedback, everyone!
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aerisbolt
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Beautiful Paradox
Wow Sadhana, you are writing a novel! That is really impressive, I wish you well with that, I'll miss you writing fanfics though :blush:
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