| Welcome to Campfire Soapbox. We hope you enjoy your visit. You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free. Join our community! If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features: |
| Great Reasons To Live In Your Province | |
|---|---|
| Tweet Topic Started: Jan 12 2005, 06:34 PM (50 Views) | |
| pentax | Jan 12 2005, 06:34 PM Post #1 |
![]()
Kamloops - BC Interior
|
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA 1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges, one of which has THREE lanes..... 2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown. 3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations. 4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on. 5. You know of at least 8 different ethnic versions of Spring Rolls, and can correctly identify them. 6. You never have to spend the money for a vacation to HongKong; just drive out to Richmond. 7. You have written a book "1,001 Uses for Tofu - Some Of Which Are Edible." TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA 1. Big Rock between you and B.C. 2. Ottawa who? 3. Tax is 7 percent instead of approximately 200 percent for the rest of the country. 4. Flames vs. Oilers. 5. You can wear expensive pointy boots and a belt-buckle the size of a dinner plate, but don't have to end sentences with "y'all". 6. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of. 7. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country. 8. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups. TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN 1. You never run out of wheat. 2. Cruise control takes on a whole new meaning. 3. Your province is really easy to draw. 4. You never have to worry about car roll-back if you have a standard transmission. 5. You can take a trip to the States and amuse yourself watching people try to figure out how to pronouce the name on your license-plate. 6. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours. 7. People will assume you live on a farm. 8. Buying a huge John Deere mower makes sense. TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA 1. You wake up one morning to find you suddenly have beachfront property. 2. The only province to ever violently rebel against the federal government. 3. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes. 4. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter. 5. Your mosquitoes are big enough to carve steaks from. 6. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood. 7. Because of your license plate, you are still friendly even when you cut someone off. 8. Pass the time watching trucks and barns float by. TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO 1. You live in the centre of the universe - all other Canadians are just "peons". 2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump. 3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election. 4. There's no such thing as an Ontario Separatist. Separate from what? You are the centre of the universe. 5. The only province with hard-core American-style crime. 6. Lots of nice cottage country outside the Metropolitan area, and you can be there in less time than it takes for a Lunar mission. TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC 1. Cultural bigotry is socially acceptable. 2. The only province to ever kidnap federal politicians. 3. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbor will move out next. 4. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada. 5. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *#!%". 6. You get to eat all kinds of vile, disgusting foods in the name of "preserving your culture". TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK 1. One way or another, the government gets 98 per cent of your income. 2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies. 3. When listing the provinces, everyone forgets to mention yours. 4. The economy is based on fish, cows, and ferrying Ontario motorists to Boston. 5. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick. 6. Everybody has a Grandfather who runs a lighthouse. 7. Just as charming as Maine, but with more unemployed fishermen. 8. You probably live in a small seaside cottage with no television. TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA 1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can. 2. You are the "only" reason Anne Murray makes money. 3. You can pretend you have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt. 4. The economy is based on lobster and fiddle music. 5. Even though it smells like dead sea animals, Halifax is considered Canada's most beautiful city. 6. By the time Florida hurricanes get to you, they're just a strong breeze. TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND 1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge. 2. You can walk across the province in half an hour. 3. You were probably once an extra on "Road to Avonlea". 4. This is where all those tiny red potatoes come from. 5. The economy is based on fish, potatoes, and CBC TV shows. 6. Tourists arrive, see the "Anne of Green Gables" house, then promptly leave. 7. It doesn't matter to you if Quebec separates. 8. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night. TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND 1. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse. 2. In the rare case when someone moves to the Rock, you can make them kiss dead cod. (an age-old ritual.) 3. Your culture is a lot like the backwoods of Kentucky, and you talk as funny as they do. 4. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea - hopefully to Ireland, where they drink as much as you do. 5. You and only you understand the meaning of Great Big Sea's lyrics. 6. The work-year is about two months long. 7. You are credited with many great inventions, like the solar-powered flashlight and the screen door for submarines. 8. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders, on the day you wed your second-cousin. |
![]() (thumbnail) ![]() "Kirk to Enterprise - Very funny, Scotty.... now beam down my clothes!" | |
![]() |
|
| Justine | Jan 13 2005, 12:35 AM Post #2 |
|
Member
|
as funny as some of those are it is also a bit scary how right on the money some of them are.
|
![]() |
|
| Cornelius | Jan 13 2005, 09:55 AM Post #3 |
|
Member
|
2. Cruise control takes on a whole new meaning. Had to pick this one out because when I drove trough Saskatchewan 2 years ago, I remember draining my gastank without touching the gaspedal. Just drove from one gasstation to another on cruise control. All very exciting (not)
|
![]() |
|
| « Previous Topic · Campfire · Next Topic » |









as funny as some of those are it is also a bit scary how right on the money some of them are.
2:32 AM Jul 11