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| Rules Of Chocolate; Just for Jackie! :-) | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Dec 28 2004, 07:49 PM (513 Views) | |
| cmoehle | Dec 28 2004, 07:49 PM Post #1 |
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Chris - San Antonio TX
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RULES OF CHOCOLATE If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly. Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want. The problem: How to get two pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot. Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite, and you'll eat less. If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves. If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don't they actually counteract each other? Money talks. Chocolate sings. Beautifully. Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger. Therefore, you need to eat more chocolate. Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done. A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Now, isn't that handy? If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate... what's wrong with you? If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated. You can't let that happen, can you? |
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Politics is the art of achieving the maximum amount of freedom for individuals that is consistent with the maintenance of social order. --Barry Goldwater | |
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| sylley2000 | Dec 28 2004, 08:11 PM Post #2 |
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Sylvia, Grand Bend ON
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I'm not sure, but I think DylansMom (Jackie) wrote this: "Chocolate, I love thee. Let me count the ways:" ![]() 1 Nestle Crunch Bars - My childhood favorite. 2 Hershey Bar with Almonds - Another childhood favorite. 3 M&M's - I love the red and green holiday ones. 4 Swiss Miss Hot Chocolate Drink - Great on cold winter days. 5 Yoohoo Chocolate Drink - Great on hot summer days. 6 Chocolate Birthday Cake - A must have annual thing. 7 Chocolate Ice Cream - Another must have annual thing. 8 Chocolate Milk Shake - Patty should get this one, "Milk shake run!!!" 9 Chocolate Pie - My Grandma makes the best. 1 0 Chocolate Pudding - Even the lowfat ones taste great. 1 1 Brownie with Nuts - Sometimes you feel like a nut... 1 2 Brownie without Nuts - Sometimes you don't. 1 3 Chocolate Sauce - Drool... 1 4 Hershey's Kisses - Yummy! 1 5 Hershey's Kisses with Almonds - More yummy! 1 6 Ferrero Rocher Truffles - Cost a bit more but worth it. 1 7 Godiva - Do I really need to explain?! 1 8 Chocolate Mousse - Wonderful! 1 9 Chocolate Chip Cookie - Therapy for those stress filled days. 2 0 Double Chocolate Chip Cookie - Therapy for really stressed days. 2 1 Chocolate Chocolate Chunk Cookie - Therapy for when you want to jump off a building. ![]() Sylvia |
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| Outback Annie | Dec 28 2004, 08:26 PM Post #3 |
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Mojave Desert Yacht Club
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| Little Kopit | Dec 29 2004, 04:55 AM Post #4 |
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newfoundland
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This reminds me I need to look for a small chocolate cake recipe, possibly one with oranges and nuts. I need it for Friday night or Saturday morning. Scratch cake, of course. :snowman: :santawave: |
| Lynne | |
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| DylansMom | Dec 29 2004, 06:03 AM Post #5 |
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Jackie-Sioux Falls, SD (in Arizona for the moment)
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Ummmmmmmmmm, only 7 am and I've already gained 5 pounds! Ya know, the rules are the rules. Who am I not to follow them??????????
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Greg, Dylan & Jasper too! 2005 F350 King Ranch PSD Crew Cab 4x4 Dually; 2005 Carriage Carri-lite KIQ View My Pictures Here
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| cmoehle | Dec 29 2004, 06:55 AM Post #6 |
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Chris - San Antonio TX
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Celebrate! 1. WHEN NO ONE UNDERSTANDS YOU, CHOCOLATE IS THERE. 2. SEVEN DAYS WITHOUT CHOCOLATE MAKES ONE WEAK. 3. I AM NOT OVERWEIGHT. I AM CHOCOLATE-ENRICHED. 4. EINSTEIN WAS EATING CHOCOLATE WHEN HE CAME UPON THE THEORY OF RELATIVITY. 5. THE 12-STEP CHOCOHOLICS PROGRAM: NEVER BE MORE THAN 12 STEPS AWAY FROM CHOCOLATE! 6. LIFE WITHOUT CHOCOLATE IS NO LIFE AT ALL. 7. I WANT IT ALL!!! AND I WANT IT SMOTHERED IN WHIPPED CREAM AND CHOCOLATE. 8. CHOCOLATE IS CHEAPER THAN THERAPY, AND YOU DON'T NEED AN APPOINTMENT. 9. THERE IS NOTHING BETTER THAN A GOOD FRIEND, EXCEPT A GOOD FRIEND WITH CHOCOLATE. 10. CHOCOLATE DOESN'T MAKE THE WORLD GO AROUND... BUT IT CERTAINLY MAKES THE TRIP WORTHWHILE. 11. AND ON THE EIGHTH DAY GOD CREATED CHOCOLATE. 12. GOD SENDS NO STRESS THAT PRAYER AND CHOCOLATE CANNOT HANDLE. 13. I WOULD GIVE UP CHOCOLATE, BUT I'M NO QUITTER. 14. MILK CHOCOLATE IS A DAIRY PRODUCT. 15. IF GOD HAD MEANT US TO BE THIN, HE WOULD NOT HAVE CREATED CHOCOLATE. |
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Politics is the art of achieving the maximum amount of freedom for individuals that is consistent with the maintenance of social order. --Barry Goldwater | |
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| mychrissy | Dec 29 2004, 09:11 AM Post #7 |
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Chrissy
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AIN'T that the truth.
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Chrissy | |
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| cmoehle | Dec 29 2004, 11:40 AM Post #8 |
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Chris - San Antonio TX
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You know what they say, Life is Like a Box of Chocolates... |
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Politics is the art of achieving the maximum amount of freedom for individuals that is consistent with the maintenance of social order. --Barry Goldwater | |
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| cmoehle | Dec 29 2004, 05:47 PM Post #9 |
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Chris - San Antonio TX
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OK, last one, a little risque, but we're adults... Chocolate Why Chocolate is better than sex: 1. You can get chocolate. 2. Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft. 3. You can safely have chocolate while you are driving. 4. You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to. 5. You can have chocolate even in front of your mother. 6. If you bite the nuts too hard the chocolate won't mind. 7. Two people of the same sex can have chocolate without being called nasty names. 8. The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate. 9. You can have chocolate on top of your workbench/desk during working hours without upsetting your co-workers. 10. You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped. 11. With chocolate there's no need to fake it. 12. Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant. 13. You can have chocolate at any time of the month. 14. Good chocolate is easy to find. 15. You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle. 16. You are never too young or too old for chocolate. 17. When you have chocolate it does not keep your neighbors awake. 18. With chocolate size doesn't matter. |
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Politics is the art of achieving the maximum amount of freedom for individuals that is consistent with the maintenance of social order. --Barry Goldwater | |
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| DylansMom | Dec 29 2004, 05:52 PM Post #10 |
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Jackie-Sioux Falls, SD (in Arizona for the moment)
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All true, but the last one!!!!! We all know size DOES matter. Oh, and I am talking about chocolate!
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Greg, Dylan & Jasper too! 2005 F350 King Ranch PSD Crew Cab 4x4 Dually; 2005 Carriage Carri-lite KIQ View My Pictures Here
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| wolfgoddess | Feb 4 2005, 10:42 PM Post #11 |
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Party Leader
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Jackie this made me think of you in reference to chocolate:
It's not an addiction, it's a fifth food group. Jackie, Goddess of Chocolate
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| TexasShadow | Feb 4 2005, 11:02 PM Post #12 |
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Jane
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| passinthru | Feb 5 2005, 05:40 AM Post #13 |
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John - Gainesville, FL
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Rules???? I thought it was automatic... See chocolate, eat chocolate! |
| Faster horses, younger women, older whiskey, more money... | |
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| DylansMom | Feb 5 2005, 06:52 AM Post #14 |
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Jackie-Sioux Falls, SD (in Arizona for the moment)
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Hey thanks, Wolfgoddess! Now I am a goddess! Must be true, if you proclaimed it! The number 1 rule in chocolate is to give me some!
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Greg, Dylan & Jasper too! 2005 F350 King Ranch PSD Crew Cab 4x4 Dually; 2005 Carriage Carri-lite KIQ View My Pictures Here
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| Little Kopit | Feb 5 2005, 06:59 AM Post #15 |
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newfoundland
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Jackie, The FIRST COMMANDMENT according to the Goddess Jackie: give chocolate to the goddess, by placing a large box at her feet. Be sure to bow low.
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| Lynne | |
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Jackie, Goddess of Chocolate



8:30 AM Jul 11