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| Southern Gardening....; a little winter humor | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Nov 29 2004, 08:29 PM (99 Views) | |
| Trailblazer | Nov 29 2004, 08:29 PM Post #1 |
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Southern Gardening Sometimes it's so easy to get caught up in planting, weeding, spraying this year's garden, not to mention planning next year's, that you lose sight of the fact that gardening is fun, even if the grass has grown higher than the proverbial elephant's eye with all the recent rain and you think that in order to get it cut you may have to rent one of those monster mowers you see the highway crews using. Grass grows best where you wish it wouldn't. Your garden in the spring is never as big as it was when you placed your seed catalog order last winter. The best way to garden is to put on a wide-brimmed straw hat and some old clothes. And with a hoe in one hand and a cold drink in the other, tell somebody else where to dig. You know you're a white trash gardener if you: Rake leaves with one hand so you can drink beer with the other. Plant shrubs where your dog's done the digging. Have a plywood cutout of a fat lady in bloomers bending over your flower bed. Compost disposable diapers. Mow your yard only on your anniversary. Chiggers -- Best reason not to wear tight underwear. Groundcover -- Pickup trucks you're fixin' to fix. Fixin' to: Gardening phrase that means "eventually or maybe never" such as "I'm fixin' to pull that old stump up." Root Pruning -- What happens when you run over your magnolia tree with a riding lawn mower. Traveling sprinklers -- a pair of bird dogs. Zone hardiness -- The part of the country a plant is most likely to die in. |
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8:50 AM Jul 11