Frozen Love

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Frozen Love; a poem by me
Topic Started: Jul 7 2008, 09:19 PM (49 Views)
LoneRanger	Jul 7 2008, 09:19 PM Post #1
New Member Posts: 2 Group: Members Member #109 Joined: July 7, 2008	Here's a poem I wrote after2 hours of sleep after listening to some random music. I think the music inspired me. This is just something that was put together in 30 minutes, give or take. English is not my native language, so I'd appreciate it if the language critiques would come in a somewhat soft form. You would want to get into a semi-romantic mood before reading this poem.After listening to heavy metal is sounds like crap. Frozen Love by Besart Avdiu A love without a heart a meeting without a place a touch without a feeling a promise without speaking is my love for you for you, are simply a distant thought, a dream that rarely visits and a nightmare that regularly haunts You are needed like a flower needs the sun like the moon needs the sky like the stars need to shine yet you are elusive and fly like the wind to distant seas over the mountains over the skies with marvelous speed You are the answer all mysteries yet, you give more questions than answers. Millions are the ones you inspire and by millions you are desired many burn in patience hoping you will appear and often you simply disappear You have sunken many, many hearts and have enlightened so many souls. You give more pain than pleasure yet make many people whole and somehow still give less warmth than cold. you are... you are a frozen love. If you're wondering what it's about, it's about people who want to find love, and are in love with love, but just can't seem to find it. It's also a bit related to people who spend their lives watching life from the side-lines and only experiencing these life sensations in a frozen form. The internet, television and video games also are a small factor in this phenomenon. Every part has a meaning, so if you don't understand something please, ask. Discuss the poem and give me some feedback, as this is the third poem I have ever written in the english language and the 6th ever. I love writing and have won prizes for doing so, but I am way better at prose than poetry.



Ramzam	Jul 7 2008, 10:09 PM Post #2
Everybody's Favorite DDR Posts: 832 Group: Moderators Member #4 Joined: December 16, 2006	;) I wouldn't worry about your English if I were you—I wouldn't have thought your native language was something else, be it Japanese, Spanish, French, German, or whatever else it might be. Besides, poetry isn't my field of writing, so I can't really crack on you, regardless. XD Welcome to CaW—the forum where you're accompanied by some fourteen other active members. >_> Er... Anyway, I see poetry as easier than prose, not to mention it has to be a real piece of crap to make someone roll their eyes, no matter how overused the poem's subject is. And I'm sort of a sucker for anything, so I'll just say it's all good and be on my way. Ha~ I sure didn't waste any of my flames of life reading this.
	All members of PCF may click this link to find the forums that, "replaced," it.


LoneRanger	Jul 9 2008, 07:06 AM Post #3
New Member Posts: 2 Group: Members Member #109 Joined: July 7, 2008	thanks for the welcome note.



Enialis	Jul 9 2008, 05:49 PM Post #4
Vampire is what I am Posts: 296 Group: Members Member #40 Joined: March 16, 2007	LoneRanger, I have to give you credit. It made me think of my Love life. It is really good. I think you might want to try to publish it. Anyway, like Ramzam said, welcome to Caw. Hope you have a great time and make a lot of friends.
	If you need help, just contact me in anyway you can. If you got yahoo, here's mine: Enialis1. Just say who you are and what site I know you from and I'll talk. Its up to you mates.


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