- Ramzam
- Mar 17 2007, 07:45 AM
It's good--I'm not exactly impressed, (Come to think of it, I'm hardly ever impressed by anything!) but so far it's doing good. Though, you spent the entire second paragraph, describing their hair styles. Not exactly good thing, as people tend to lose interest, when you spend an entire paragraph describing people--they usually just form their own idea of what the characters look like. You could've described one person and had that person say something, then have the next person speak and describe them afterward and so on.
- Quote:
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It's good--I'm not exactly impressed, (Come to think of it, I'm hardly ever impressed by anything!) but so far it's doing good. Though, you spent the entire second paragraph, describing their hair styles. Not exactly good thing, as people tend to lose interest, when you spend an entire paragraph describing people--they usually just form their own idea of what the characters look like. You could've described one person and had that person say something, then have the next person speak and describe them afterward and so on.
This is where I disagree. Y'see, you have to know what you're own character looks like if this is going to be an original story. It's okay, better than some of other people's stories, but nonetheless, it needs a wee bit of work.
Goo' luck!
Divinity_123
| 
11:05 PM Nov 27
