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| Oi, Mr Shorts | |
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| Topic Started: 20th August 2009 - 04:36 PM (373 Views) | |
| garlic bread | 20th August 2009 - 04:36 PM Post #1 |
SHIRT LIFTER!!!!!!!!!!
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Is your lass the size of a house yet? Mine is Do you know the sex of the baby yet? We decided against it Do you have a delivery date yet? Ours is 11th Nov Does your lass get on your tits asking you to do stuff for her? Mine is Have you paid over £500 fucking quid for a fashion accessory, sorry, I mean a push fucking chair? I have Has your lass put weight on her arris? for some strange reason ours hasn't - she is all front - no change there then Have you spent what seems like eternity in mamas and papas and still not bought owt cos its too confusing? I have Edited by garlic bread, 20th August 2009 - 04:36 PM.
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| Kev Walker | 20th August 2009 - 04:59 PM Post #2 |
Services to LUFC for putting up with a scouser!!!
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Put that breast-pump down Mr Bread - it's not meant to be attached there! |
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| garlic bread | 20th August 2009 - 05:13 PM Post #3 |
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SHIRT LIFTER!!!!!!!!!!
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thats another thing on the list we have to buy...why she cant have it 2nd hand is beyond me... plus, why the fuck does it have to be electronic, whats wrong with the manual version ( and i dont mean me, 'starting her off' and pumping the stuff in a bottle....) |
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| Wickywhite | 20th August 2009 - 11:31 PM Post #4 |
best all-rounder
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I have an Avent Isis manual breastpump if either of you want it. I've used electric 'milking machines' in the hospital and this was much easier and was faster too. |
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| Jonno | 21st August 2009 - 10:47 AM Post #5 |
Most Loves himself yet people want to be like him... 2005
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Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha, I've had a right chuckle at this thread. We spent over 700 quid on our 'push fucking chair' (Bugaboo), where we live, you have to keep up with the Jones's (although not the RHS types fortunately). Also, the breast pump is a must apparently, stops you gushing when you least want to. Best thing we have bought................. Fisher Price rocker chair, he bloody loves it, and we can stick it in the car and take it to other peoples houses. |
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| Kev Walker | 21st August 2009 - 10:54 AM Post #6 |
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Services to LUFC for putting up with a scouser!!!
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I see you've given up your Rock & Roll lifestyle mate! "Coming to the pub mate? - No, sorry cant, they've got a 2-4-1 sale at Toy Store tomorrow and I've got to get there early!" :lolanimate: |
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| garlic bread | 21st August 2009 - 01:28 PM Post #7 |
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SHIRT LIFTER!!!!!!!!!!
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dont get me started on quinny 'look at me and my pram that costs more than my fucking car' buzz 4..... oh, and she HAS to have the matching car seat, car seat adaptor, pram cot thing and a footmuff...FOOTMUFF..I KID YOU NOT..nearly pissed myself as i didnt hear her right.... someone else mentioned the rocker chair. is that the one that lights up and plays music when it rocks |
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| Bay Rebel | 21st August 2009 - 01:42 PM Post #8 |
100% Leeds
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I'm enjoying this thread more than most! Havin been there got the t-shirt blah Wait until you have to go somewhere with said new arrival - we had a Carlton Estate back then and still managed to fill it with paraphernalia when just visiting my parents 1.5 miles away! |
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| garlic bread | 21st August 2009 - 03:30 PM Post #9 |
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SHIRT LIFTER!!!!!!!!!!
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Oh please don't say that mr bay. I only bought my Audi a4 cabriolet last year and she thinks it will b too small. She has a small Honda civic. Will that b big enough? |
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| Bay Rebel | 21st August 2009 - 04:43 PM Post #10 |
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100% Leeds
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Most cars are big enough once you've got over the initial phase of taking everything, even the civic! Maybe suggest an estate replacement for the civic, success will be depend upon you making your better half believe it was her idea |
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| Fitz | 21st August 2009 - 06:12 PM Post #11 |
Perfectly formed member
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Did you and KD4 buy matching hairdresser's cars deliberately? |
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| garlic bread | 21st August 2009 - 09:42 PM Post #12 |
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SHIRT LIFTER!!!!!!!!!!
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Didn't even know mr kd4 had one. Great taste and all that |
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| Jonno | 22nd August 2009 - 02:22 AM Post #13 |
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Most Loves himself yet people want to be like him... 2005
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GB, we just bought some Fisher Price thing, it doesn't light up and thing, but has some little bears that hang off it that keep him amused. It vibrates too but that's a waste as I can't fit in the thing. As for cars, we've got a 2-door Merc, coupe and it's plenty. Even getting the little bludger in and out isn't too bad once you get used to it. At least yours is a convertible, just drop the top lol. Oh, and Kev, every 23rd Tuesday I'm allowed to the pub for 8 mins to sup one schooner of mid strength, the rocking and the rolling is still living strong. |
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| Wickywhite | 22nd August 2009 - 09:02 AM Post #14 |
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best all-rounder
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She didn't want the matching changing bag too? lol I'd also recommend a rocker. They're easier to sooth when they're in motion. Also a baby gym is good. |
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| Jonno | 22nd August 2009 - 07:09 PM Post #15 |
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Most Loves himself yet people want to be like him... 2005
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Yep, we've got a fisher price Jungle Gym, has lot's of dangly bits and plays a tune that stays in your head for the rest of the week. |
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| Dee | 22nd August 2009 - 10:32 PM Post #16 |
really very nice person
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This has to be the funniest thread i've ever read on t'rebs...even funnier than Cockney's giraffes and snakes....and here's me a new granny!!! pmsl! |
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| Ray Hankin's shorts | 25th August 2009 - 12:37 PM Post #17 |
Acts of random kindness to donkeys
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So many questions so little time........erm, right, here goes: Not a house, more a bijou cottage Definitely didn't want to know the sex of the baby, the surprise at the birth is all part of the thrill for us Due on 3rd November all being well She doesn't ask me to do anything - I offer........ She does keep asking me "if she's got any bigger" - every day..... The pram.....The f*cking pram is haunting me! We haven't got one yet as I'm way too tight to fork out that sort of cash before I really, really have to. You go to John Lewis and start chatting with their 'dedicated nursery assistant' about the pros and cons of each pram and then our lass asks "which is the most popular" and the bint says "the Bugaboo".........surely not the most f*cking expensive one I hiss to myself whilst being frowned at by doting parents-to-be who've been sucked into the scurrilous web of deceit and lies that is baby marketing. What's wrong with Dewsbury market that's what I want to know?!?!?!? Not much weight on the 'arris - Clare is 5'11" so she's doing well at keeping it all out front as it were. She's loving her wabs growing a couple of cup sizes though!!! Hardly bought anything. When we had the 20 week scan the nurse said "everything is perfect, perfect, all good but..." and Clare had a mild cardiac. She went on "...but baby is very big....". Clare had a full blown cardiac and I winced a little....... Seems we're going to have a big 'un so the plan is to get a few bits and then get most of the gear when we know (i) its sex and (ii) the size of the little bugger. That all told I can't wait. Sleepless nights, shitty nappies, screaming 24/7 - will be just like Germany pre-season! |
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| Bay Rebel | 25th August 2009 - 12:47 PM Post #18 |
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100% Leeds
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Seriously I have to say if it's your first be prepared for your life to change from the moment they had you your first born! I was never that bothered if I had children or not until that day 6th July 1991 Suddenly how you look at everything changes And I have to say my to lads are THE best part of my life The rest I'll leave you to find out...enjoy...yep even being woken several times every night..then staggering into work |
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| Fitz | 25th August 2009 - 01:29 PM Post #19 |
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Perfectly formed member
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Doc kept telling Mrs F to prepare for a whopper on our first too, Shorts, and you know Mrs F is 5'10". However, he came in at a mere 7lbs, so they can be less than accurate.... |
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| Spoon Boots | 25th August 2009 - 01:50 PM Post #20 |
Least like you expect... 2005
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the question i always bloody ask is how many are you having ..... my little angels - see recent facbook pictures are running wild .......... if one doesn't get you there is a spare waiting to pounce ..... :) |
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| garlic bread | 25th August 2009 - 02:23 PM Post #21 |
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SHIRT LIFTER!!!!!!!!!!
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On the last scan the bint with the squirting jelly and paper towels said to expect our to be over 8 lbs. Our lass too is a 'Barry McGuigan' so dont expect a small un....cant wait
Edited by garlic bread, 25th August 2009 - 02:27 PM.
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| Lee D'su | 25th August 2009 - 04:41 PM Post #22 |
Funniest Poster and Getter of tickets
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Me and my sis were both told to expect big babies last time around. Hers was 10lb, mine was 7lb13oz! |
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| Wickywhite | 25th August 2009 - 04:44 PM Post #23 |
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best all-rounder
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Oh fuck!!! Col won't thank me for that one! |
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| Wickywhite | 25th August 2009 - 04:52 PM Post #24 |
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best all-rounder
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Also, can I add re pushchairs that it's worth checking out parenting forums about pushchairs as you'll get a balanced view of what is really worthy of your cash. It's a lot of money to spend and get it wrong. Some of them look really good but are shit at folding for the boot /getting on the bus etc. If I had the money I'd have one of these http://www.philandteds.com/sport_index.htm |
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| garlic bread | 25th August 2009 - 05:14 PM Post #25 |
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SHIRT LIFTER!!!!!!!!!!
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excellent adventure |
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| Wickywhite | 25th August 2009 - 05:23 PM Post #26 |
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best all-rounder
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party on dude |
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| Jonno | 25th August 2009 - 09:12 PM Post #27 |
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Most Loves himself yet people want to be like him... 2005
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Bugaboo all the way for us, have you seen the resalel value of them on ebay even when they're two years old? That makes it worthwhile for me. |
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| Rich | 29th August 2009 - 07:40 AM Post #28 |
Technically backward twat.
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Oh how this board has changed........funniest thread for years!!!!!! Lol. Lads, even if you bought a 52 seater coach your lass would by enough stuff to pack it to so the windows bulged. Days out are like a military operation. But as BR says it's totally life changing and well worth it all. Enjoy. |
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| garlic bread | 31st August 2009 - 03:29 PM Post #29 |
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SHIRT LIFTER!!!!!!!!!!
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We r now going through the farting like an old man after a Sunday dinner sesh! She is also wearing them dobber pants that are like leggings but go over her gut. They r that tight when she farts her ankles swell! |
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| Ray Hankin's shorts | 31st August 2009 - 09:31 PM Post #30 |
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Acts of random kindness to donkeys
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I'm sure your lass will be thrilled to know you've shared that with everyone fella..... Just been to a friends for the Bank Holiday Monday - the blokes escaped to the garden for beers while the women chatted about stitches and tiredness. It'd be nice to go somewhere that the main topic wasn't bleeding babies! |
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4:29 PM Nov 25
